Enamored

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” ― Stephen Chbosky

As the new year encroaches upon us we are forced to be reminiscent of the shenanigans 2018 inevitably brought. Around this time we make our resolutions and try with limited time to change the habits we so eagerly clenched months, if not days prior.

They say it takes 21 days to start a habit and to be honest a few new and helpful ones I am sure will do no harm. To start a business, to make more healthy choices, to be more fiscally responsible, are admirable choices to make, but what if we chose this coming year to fall in love... with ourselves.

God in his divine wisdom created man in his image. Whole men and women, composite, COMPLETE units of flesh and soul. This idea of " completeness" is not an opinion many people share. We are told, very early on, through the media and word of mouth, that we are somehow fragmented and need only find the opposite part of our puzzles, only then can our lives be holistic.

This is especially true of little girls, a foreboding future lays in wait if life is not embarked whilst on the arm of a man, they say. The notion bores me. While humans can hardly survive without social interaction it does not mean he is incomplete. While I have seen a shell of a man, I have never seen half of one.

The lot of us have at some point fallen prey to the idea of love and needing it. Somethings thing worked out and thank God sometimes they did not. Think of that one person you loved for longest, loved the hardest and did the most for. All the time spent, all the energy invested, then think.

" Have I ever invested that much love, time or energy on myself?"

I am confounded when I think of how far in my life I made it without even trying to know myself. Dreading the moment someone will ask " So tell me about yourself.....What do you like to do?" The question I find prosaic yet I still sometimes do not know how to answer.

The first few years of our lives are thrown into acquiring scholarly accolades or barely making it by- Whatever. Friendships that almost never last past our teens and doing the things that will make our break our lives, allegedly.

e receive a higher education or we work for ourselves or for the man, just so we are able to put food on the table and make ends meet. Few of us know or find our passion. Doing things just knowing much about ourselves and what truly makes us happy.

We are herded like mindless sheep by the world around us, harboring resentment for those who do the bare minimum. Those who flaunt otherwise acquired assets and conquests to those who pay aoverspendWoverspend to be like, look like and smell like our favorites. We change every time the fades do. What a shallow, excruciating and exhausting existence!

Just imagine for a second that you knew exactly who you are. This new person knows and understands what they like and are aware of the things that are toxic and intolerable. Your mental health takes precedence.

This new you eads more books, learns new words daily. You are unapologetic about no longer engaging in idle talk with idle people. You take yourself to new restaurants once a month, you travel to new places, as close as the next town over or another continent.

You meet new people above your social strata and are not intimidated. You are not afraid of solitude and you are protective of it. You learn new skills and new languages as often as you can. You see your time as gold and your presence as platinum and only those who respect that are allowed in your space. You have reinvented and reinvested in yourself.

You are your best you, long into 2019 and long after it.

If it is indeed true that "We accept the love we think we deserve.” then the type of love we accepted in the past will no longer be acceptable. When we begin to take ourselves seriously we cannot be bought, impressed or called to someone just because some one claims to love us.

We will not be so eager to believe the words if the way people treat us does not match up to the way we treat ourselves and how do we treat Gold? With benevolence. Nothing less than that.

So in your resolutions, decide who you will be for you. To abnegate that duty would be unwise.

See you at the next post!

Besos